|| cant put it into words
So my sister is finally here after about 5 million mishaps on her and taylor's was here from CA. taylor should be back soon, he had to leave the day he came because he was getting a truck from his dad or something and driving it out here. Buuuuut Kristi couldnt be just happy that Taylor is going to be here soon could she? Nope. She is pouting and mooping around like she couldnt give a shit less about what else is going on, just feeling sorry for herself. Maybe she is feeling depressed, but dude seriously, you can get help, and that isnt a problem for her either, she can ask for it. Its just really annoying, you're having a good day and then you see your sister and she is just sitting there quiet and its totally obvious that something is wrong, she is usually loud and talking constantly-today she hasnt said a word to anybody but dad. It is just really super irritating. Cheer the fuck up! It isnt anybody else's fault that you have to move in with your parents when you're 24, only yours, no actually not even completely yours either, maybe thats what is bothering her, because she cant help the fact that college isnt exactly the place for her. hmmm. Most likely. I do feel bad for her, but she has made some really dumb decsions the past couple months-they've both wasted a shit ton of money. And not even with Bella, whatever, she makes you happy Im down with that-but at least wait untill you BOTH can move out here instead of changing your mind about three weeks into the whole ordeal. It just is really stupid, make up your mind.
Tonight is prom, of course I cant go--it really pisses me off that mom and dad dont know what it is like to have restrictions, just because you were totally conservative and not risk-takers to the slightest degree you completely freak out whenever me and kari do something wrong. And then you take away what is supposed to be the best memories of our lives (not likely anyway) but seriously, how can you do that? You both have no idea what it feels like to be so trapped. And Im not even mad when Im typing this, not at all actually. Just...I dont even know, sad I guess.
I finally found my freshman year yearbook, you couldnt possibly know how much that means to me. I love reading back at what everybody wrote, just about everybody wrote about DJ. Totally surprising, I didnt think that that many people really cared or even knew. I guess the PDA was extensive at times...haha. I am so happy that I can see all of my friends who I miss so much. All of my real friends. They all just mean so much to me, I didnt even know how lucky I was. I cant start thinking like that though, just be excited for the future.
Oh and another thing that makes me angry at my sister, she keeps saying things that are discouraging towards me and kari moving out. Why would she be like that? Cant you just be happy that me are going to be able to be out on our own finally? Like what is up with that? She actually called my mom and dad last night to tell them that she found karis phone and throw-up in her car, why, just why does she feel the need to do that? She didnt want me and kari to be able to do anything that night, and now shes even more pissed because she didnt know about it, and so she thinks that we're just getting away with it. Whatever. I just dont get why she cant just be like a normal sister, is she pourposely trying to ruin our lives because she either misses her husband, or she is jealous that we've gotten to do more than she did when she was our age? I just dont understand. I guess Im just totally different--example: we came home from Wal-Mart on thursday after school and I went inside without grabbing any bags becasue I had to go to the bathroom really bad, the first words out of her mouth were "Kelsey isnt helping mom" wtf? Who does that? If it was kari, she would have jsut taken all the bags in herself and then just be mad at me later. Kristi is just not a normal sister, sure it was her that practically raised us when we cant even remember, but why does she have to be, basically, a rat? It astounds me the crap that I put up with when she lived with us from birth to NC. I guess Ive changed a lot, which i already knew, but I guess my views on everything have changed too. hmmm. too much typing. bye.